Saturday, October 11

the power of re:

One of the best things about mental illness, mental breakdowns, mental breakthroughs, mental experiences in general is the power of re:- re-examining, re-aligning, re-creating, re-living, re-purposing, although perhaps not re-peating if that is what got you into that state in the first place.

I am currently at a very raw place in my life. Having experienced all of the above, I am daily trying to re-place myself in the world. Having never really understood what my place is, this is kind of hard. I feel very lost. So I’ve been creating work that I feel reflects this feeling of disembodiment, of dislocation, of dismemberment. It’s similar to older work in that it’s autobiographical, that there’s an emphasis on process and repetition, but the difference is in its bloodied directness. 

I’ve never been in a place quite like this where I’ve been so flayed as to have no option other than to show my innards to the world. It’s not even unsettling to me as I’m so used to it. Perhaps it’s unsettling to others, I don’t know. I don’t actually care (all that much) what others make of it. It is work that simply has to be made as part of the cathartic act of healing. I feel so mired in lost-ness and unanchored-ness that it’s all I have right now that doesn’t jar, that doesn’t stir up seasickness and self-derision. So I will continue with it until it has finished with me, or finished me, whichever comes first...

triggered self (repeat)

Wednesday, October 8

states of mind - work in progress

[despire: 1. to despise (Old French, Etymology: Latin dēspiciō) 
2. to be aspiring and desiring 3. to desire and despise (urban slang)]

the falsity of facebook


headcase (detail)

triggered self

I'd give my eye teeth

I'd give my eye teeth (again)

I'd give my eye teeth (in passing)

día de los muertos

Monday, September 15

breakdown broken down

fluctuations of mood march-sept ©xmb 2014

Tuesday, July 15

back to basics...

I've been having a wonderful time this week drawing and painting with Sharon Haward, a great artist, teacher & ex studio-mate on the Sussex Coast College Drawing & Painting Summer School. Here's what I've been up to:

perspective, charcoal on cartridge paper

white hydrangea, fine pen on cartridge paper

blue & pink hydrangea, acrylic on cartridge paper

hanging greenery, acrylic on cartridge paper

architectural drawings: shadows, movement, numbers, letters, people, 
lifts, staircases, drawings, body in space, looking through spaces

inside cover

people in space #1 pencil on graph paper

text in spaces #2 pencil & pen on greaseproof paper over graph paper

lines, lifts & floors #3 marker pen on lined paper

people moving through spaces #4 fine pen on Indian handmade paper with leaves

A drawing by Jasmine Crowter #5 marker pen on textured paper: 
human emotions, the mind, the way we think or how we wish we were something else. Each character expresses a different emotion; viewer invited to make up their own story about how they are connected. There is somethine missing from each character which says something about life. 

looking up #6 watercolour & pen on newspaper

gold leaf panel #7 pen & glitter on brown wrapping paper

Frontalini artists' model accordion, oil pastel on cardboard

Sunday, February 9

Tension @ Kaleidoscope

I was delighted to be invited to show my work, ‘Knitting the Shreds’ as part of ‘Tension’ at the Kaleidoscope Gallery in Sevenoaks from 14 January - 8 February 2014.

Reviewed by David Minton in a-n interface, he writes,

"Cousin to the fabric pieces is Xaverine Bates' work, 'Knitting the Shreds'. Tension is often a family thing, shredding a violent act, one of denial perhaps, and rejection. A long scarf-like piece is knitted from the cut up pieces of photographs from the artist's own past, destroyed like the husband's suit but now reconstituted, strait-jacketed into stitched claustrophobic closeness." The full review can be found here.

Many thanks to curators Franny Swann, Rosalind Barker, and Sue Evans for the opportunity to be part of such a wonderful show.

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